Round trip gas for shopping trip to J.Crew outlet store: $23
Blue polka-dot belt: $6.
2 Striped oxford blouses: $49.
Dark gray tailored pants: $78
Corduroy blazer suggested by good-looking manager: $72
Knocking into sock display when good-looking manager smiles at me: Embarrassing.
Gas for next-day trip to get security tag removed from pinstripe pants: $12.
Wondering if good-looking manager just saw me trip on argyle sweater display table leg: Mortifying.
Blue jersey-knit dress: $33.
Time spent pretending to search through rack of wool herringbone blazers I can't afford while waiting to see if good-looking manager: a) has a ring on his left ring-finger; b) calls security on me for loitering: 8 minutes 27 seconds.
Wool herringbone blazer suggested by good-looking manager: $168.
Moving with the prowess of Wonder Woman and the stealth of McGyver; handing manager a scrap of paper with my number on it, while walking shoulder-first into a partition wall: Super easy.
Minutes sitting in car, trying to remember if I wrote the right phone number: 6.5.
Good-looking manager calling last night and asking me out for coffee:
Priceless.
Priceless.
There are some things money can't buy.
For everything else, there's social awkwardness.