TO: Everyone@email.com
SUBJECT: Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!
Dear Readers,
It's been too long, I know. And I've missed you all too. But as much as I'd love to hear how you've been and what high-yield charities you've started, I'm here on business.
Due to the recent increases in my unparalleled generosity, I, The Guilt Fairy, have just unburdened The Davis Girl from her responsibilities as primary blogger on this site.
And this time, there's going to be some structure. Although we all enjoy a nice laugh now and again on the foibles --the many countless foibles of a certain writer (The Davis Girl)-- my new and improved blog will be interactive.
What does this mean? Well, I'll tell you. It means that for every three questions submitted to this new and improved advice blog, I will personally donate 47,196 bags of rice to St. Mary's School for the Emotionally Unavailable in Gulu, Uganda. It means that this, The Guilt Fairy's Advice Blog is the best thing since sliced bread. It means that instead of mindless drivel, we'll finally be reading some facts and getting some answers.
What's that Dear Readers? You're worried that you'll never laugh at your poor sweet moderately coordinated Davis Girl again? Oooh, ye of little faith. Of course you will. Just as soon as we've covered a few ground rules:
THE GUILT FAIRY'S ADVICE BLOG RULES
RULE #1: All Questions to this Guilt Fairy MUST be submitted by no later than 7:00pm the night before a posting. Late and/or misspelled submissions will be deleted in the order they were received.
RULE #2: Anything goes. Anything. Ask away. That's why I'm here. To give you, my Dear Readers, the best advice I can. Worried about your career? Love? Fortune? Ask me... Wondering if you'll ever find that cost-efficient non-pesticide nasal decongestant? Just ask me! I've got ALL the answers folks. And if you're not 100% satisfied with the responses, then ask your self: 'When was the last time I visited the elderly?'
RULE #3: Spelling counts so check twice, submit once. Just kidding!
But seriously, check your spelling.
Until such time that The Davis Girl decides to grace us with her presence, I, The Guilt Fairy assume command of this prestigious blog. In closing, I'd like to say something brief about the economy:
Something brief about the economy.
HA-HA! Oh, my pretty sparkling wings hurt! I'm laughing soooo hard!
You should be too. It took a four-day hunger strike to think of that. But knock it off. Seriously.
Guilterators are standing by, so I'll take your questions now. Write to me at theguiltfairy@gmail.com.
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Yours Truly,
The Guilt Fairy
This cute baby animal moment is brought to you by The Guilt Fairy's Advice Blog.Have you volunteered at an animal shelter lately?
