This Too Shall Pass: A CareBear's Tale

Victim: Friendbear

Henry killed a CareBear.

Ok, slight exaggeration. But he may as well have.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, I seriously considered taking him to the emergency clinic, but

(A): it was only the plastic heart-shaped nose and an eyebrow

and (B): I was right in the middle of The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Extended Version DVD Extras Disc 2 (The Future Mrs. Viggo Mortensen, party of one...).

Viggo Mmmortensen

I was distracted.

But Henry didn't seem to be in any immediate discomfort.  And I know I should have kept a closer eye on him, but he's so shifty. And smart.

So, shouldn't he know better, really? I mean, if he can find his way into the fridge and down an entire container of take-out rice before I even realize he's moved off his half of my couch, why can't he know NOT to eat a pushpin!?

Nothing hurts that good, little man.

Then again, Henry is AKC resgistered equal-parts mix of Border Collie / garbage disposal: Bordage dispollie.

Case in point: In the past two weeks, this darling dog may or may not have consumed the following items:

-the aforementioned pushpin

Squirrel: Before

-a most beloved Smartwool sock

-the bottom hem of an Ikea curtain

-squirrel (pictured)

-the contents of three Puffs Plus tissue boxes

-half a sharpie pen

-eleven crayola crayons

-one Artvoice

-the contents of leftover Chinese take-out carton --how McGruff the Thumbless Wonder gets my fridge door open, I have yet to learn--

-$10.28 in change

-half a fake-chandelier crystal

and

Boa: After

-a feather boa (pictured)

Luckily, a nearby friend works at Henry's vet and gave me some helpful, if not descriptive, pointers on how to know if the foreign object(s) are a cause for concern. For example, if the object is soft enough then his stool is --(text deleted. You're welcome.)--.

While waiting for things to pass, as it were, I naturally became curious on the origins of the veterinarian practices in North America, but Googled CareBears, instead. What I found was very boring:

"In 1981, CareBears were created for Hallmark greeting cards and one foggy night, a group of left-handed Scandinavian pretzel makers thought, 'Hey, we should invent CareBears!' Twenty-nine years later, the CareBear was flourishing and a bored seven and-a-half-month old puppy ate its precious face off."

On the upside it was Friendbear's nose, so there's been less hostility between Henry and the (remaining) resident squirrels.

All in all, he seems to be doing fine as long as I continue to engage him with constructive outlets for his creative energy like refrigerator padlocks. Now, the only problem is the love-shaped farts.

Henry

Not that it isn't an improvement, little man.